NELSON MANDELA AND WINNIE MARRIAGE: APARTHEID'S ROLE



A man can forgive and still seek divorce-
Life experience :
Nelson Mandela vs Winnie Mandela.

I got this off someone wall:
Forgiveness is noble but it is good to remember that a spouse can forgive and still seek divorce.

To forgive is to let go of hurt, any desire for revenge, and to avoid gossiping about the matter. To forgive does not mean staying in an abusive relationship, exposing oneself to reproach, danger, or constant heartbreak.

Mrs Mandela was a heroine, no doubt, but a successful and happy marriage requires more than heroism.

While in prison, Mr. Mandela got confirmation that his wife had lovers. He forgave her.

Later, in 1989, she met and eventually began an affair with one of her lawyers, a man 30 years her junior. This particular affair, one of many, was an open secret, yet Mr. Mandela still forgave her and remained in the marriage.

AFTER he was released and they were living together as husband and wife, Mrs Mandela CONTINUED her affair with the man, going on secret trips with him, stealing ANC's money to fund his lifestyle, etc. Mr. Mandela knew all this, yet he kept her secret and did not leave her.

On one particularly painful occasion, Mrs Mandela was to go for an event in New York. The long suffering Mr. Mandela asked her not to take her lover along. But she did, secretly. When Mr. Mandela called her hotel room to speak with her, the unsuspecting lover picked the call.

Mr. Mandela still did not leave her. He kept her secret.

The irony is that while Mrs Mandela was cheating on the great Mandela, she could not put up with the unfaithfulness of her lawyer-lover. She found out that she was not his only mistress. The fellow was sleeping around.

Furious and jealous, she wrote him a fiery letter that unwittingly revealed their love affair, Mandela's knowledge of it, and her misuse of ANC funds.The letter leaked and was published by two national papers.

The secret that Mr. Mandela had known and hid about his wife since his time in prison and that had been carefully concealed by the top men and women of ANC was now known to the world, through the actions of Mrs Mandela herself.

Two weeks later, he filed for divorce.

If you still think Mr. Mandela betrayed Winnie or that he was not forgiving enough, well, you have a right to so think.

But how unfair such a conclusion would be to a man who endured so much personal pain and the great reproach to his stellar reputation that her multiple acts of infidelity must have caused him!

Can you imagine how he must have felt when his assistants showed him photos and other evidence of her escapades with her younger and not-so-young lovers, some of whom worked under him? Yet he kept it all secret and remained with her, to protect her dignity, until her impetuous letter blew it all open to the world.

What right do we have to judge a man who worked so hard to keep his marriage, and who could have had his pick of wives, young and old, yet remained faithful to a spouse he knew was cheating on him with many men?